silence the within

All the promises I made, from this day back to then,
All the same, same as before, can I say,
What was it to begin with, but I cannot,
Lies along the way, lies I told others,
Lies I tell myself, to sleep better at night.
Under the weight, bearing down,
Breaking bones, breaking spirit,
Wishing and hoping for what,
Wishing for a way, but so glad at times,
That yesterday’s wishes didn’t bear fruit.
So many of them empty, meaningless,
Ego-shrouded wants and wishes,
Self-centered clouds flouting about,
Not about me and my needs,
About the binojiinhs and theirs,
But so hard to see, to accept.
Still wanting the easy route,
Wanting and needing confused,
See my struggle, what will it say,
What will they make of all this,
When my time has come and gone,
Encased in a casket or reduced to ashes.
So I say and I so I shall, but not today,
Today I sit and feel sorry for this self,
Wishing for some kind of something,
From the other side, from somewhere,
Foundering on the shore, unfound.
Always some kind of pressure,
Some kind of drama from without,
To silence the within, attention drawn taut.
Heal the rift betwixt and between,
Searching for that which is real,
The real of the living dead day-to-day,
Torn away by something imagined,
Loving the lie above the truth.
Freedom from self and from doubt,
Marching to the drummers beat,
Finding reflection time, time to sit,
Beneath the Bodhi tree and speechless,
Free of conceptual thought.
What is a commercial the baby asked,
It’s a lie they tell on television,
To fill our lives with emptiness,
But emptiness and the void are all,
We run and we hide, accepting all the lies,
But we and they and everything is all,
Emptiness and void from within and without.
Quiet the mind, quiet the child,
Within and without, nothing more to find,
Enjoy and live, the only things left,
That we or I must do at this moment and place.