hs reunion

Older and wider, took me a minute to recognize,
Some familiar faces on different bodies,
Twenty-some years but so far removed,
Don’t regret not going to the reunion,
Just surreal the way life has slipped by,
We were all just kids, seems like yesterday,
Second or third grade, then the rough middle years,
The high school years quickly after that,
Most of my time spent alone,
But not all that lonely just doing my thing,
Looked forward to the day I would leave,
Hated that rusty old town, under heavy grey skies,
Don’t miss it at all, miss a few people I guess,
But feel like I missed my opportunities,
Somehow slept through the best parts,
Sleep-walking through my life wishing for whatever,
Now realize so much has slipped away,
Wanted so much to speed up the time,
Long dreary days of nothing lay ahead,
But now they’re all behind me just like that,
Wish I had played more guitar for one thing,
Wish I had spent more time on myself,
Wish I had tried the writing thing,
Just to silence the what-ifs in my head,
Wish I had lived and seen a little more,
Kept jumping from one addiction to another,
Just to dull the pain, to quiet my fears,
What is it exactly that I’m trying to escape,
Wanted so badly to live my own life,
Took a few turns, kept taking the long way,
Short-circuited my own brain chemistry,
Destroyed my life, just to spite myself,
Not really all that serious, sounds so extreme,
All the good stuff still came along,
Three beautiful children, better upbringing then me,
Just want them to pursue their dreams,
At least live a life without regret,
Maybe I never tried because I was afraid to fail,
But I failed to try, leaving so much unanswered,
Should have failed and just moved on,
Growing and changing as the days fell away,
Reality sets in far too quickly, youth long wasted,
I did all the things I swore I would never do,
Searching for the answers, I asked the wrong questions,
Always going to extremes, living on the fringes,
But my days will certainly come to an end,
Just like everyone else, never ever to return,
Not in this same body, not with this same face,
Just want to go into the nothingness with no regrets,
An infinity in the void, a mere moment on this earth,
What can I say, what will I think looking back,
At the moment of death, at the end of my days,
Will I say I gave it my best, will I say I wasted it away?