this depression’s no joke,
got its hold on me,
can’t seem to shake free,
my constant companion,
leeching off me everyday,
nothing left to do,
nothing left to say.
strolling through the supermarket,
convenience canned and boxed,
shoved onto little shelves,
numbered and priced,
i search for socks,
my naked feet sweating into my shoes,
every store different but the same.
holiday music fills the air,
canned and pre-packaged too,
hopeful voices singing far away,
telling me that “love is the answer,”
but what was the question,
and why on earth should I believe you,
disembodied voices from above.
trying to lull me into complacency,
i’m only useful to you if I consume,
but what if I’ve had enough,
can’t stomach anymore,
what will they do,
the architects of our leisure,
when we all refuse?
mesmerized by all the lies,
we all believed in progress,
but somehow forgot ourselves,
i no longer know what to believe,
no longer even searching for truth,
just looking to escape,
missing the point altogether.
i think love is the answer,
the only real concrete one,
to the question of life,
but I still feel so hollow,
still feel so lost,
tripped up by my delusions,
wishing for more of something.
12.24.2007
no. 4
inbetween the lines,
white space beckoning,
answers held within,
quiets my mind,
silences my fears,
endless possibilities,
the promise of something better,
infinite potentials unrestrained,
then the words hit,
so close to the heart,
brings it all home,
art has that affect on me,
love to see paintings,
artwork on white canvas,
a glimpse into the psyche,
writing gives a slice of the soul,
so real too real too much,
why stare at the television,
when so much more is available,
set yourself free,
create and touch the heights,
slink into the very depths,
over and under these burning skies,
takes the breath away,
renders you immobile,
and there you are,
you find yourself right at the start,
where had my focus wandered,
why was I so distracted,
hiding from the only thing real,
the one and only thing,
that makes me feel alive.
white space beckoning,
answers held within,
quiets my mind,
silences my fears,
endless possibilities,
the promise of something better,
infinite potentials unrestrained,
then the words hit,
so close to the heart,
brings it all home,
art has that affect on me,
love to see paintings,
artwork on white canvas,
a glimpse into the psyche,
writing gives a slice of the soul,
so real too real too much,
why stare at the television,
when so much more is available,
set yourself free,
create and touch the heights,
slink into the very depths,
over and under these burning skies,
takes the breath away,
renders you immobile,
and there you are,
you find yourself right at the start,
where had my focus wandered,
why was I so distracted,
hiding from the only thing real,
the one and only thing,
that makes me feel alive.
no. 2
these lies masquerade as justice,
the he said/she said allegations,
that make up the soap operas of our lives,
wrong place wrong time,
not really all that serious,
but we have to play along just the same,
possible repercussions abound,
been looking for a reason,
need to start a new life,
lessons learned and forgotten,
find myself in the same old mess,
dance the dance not gonna let go,
finish what you started,
see this whole thing through,
remind me again why we do this,
what is this all for,
do you need something that much,
need something to fill your days,
if hating me gives you so much joy,
if it gives meaning to your empty life,
than who am I to deny,
so lets see where this goes.
the he said/she said allegations,
that make up the soap operas of our lives,
wrong place wrong time,
not really all that serious,
but we have to play along just the same,
possible repercussions abound,
been looking for a reason,
need to start a new life,
lessons learned and forgotten,
find myself in the same old mess,
dance the dance not gonna let go,
finish what you started,
see this whole thing through,
remind me again why we do this,
what is this all for,
do you need something that much,
need something to fill your days,
if hating me gives you so much joy,
if it gives meaning to your empty life,
than who am I to deny,
so lets see where this goes.
no. 3
regimentally challenged,
floating through my days,
half-assed and unprepared,
shocked when it all falls apart,
i’ve always known this,
but refuse to do otherwise,
need to take control,
organize my time,
schedule what I can,
pencil in some chaos,
so easy to watch it slip away,
so easy to simply watch,
but then I take exception,
double-guess and berate myself,
more wasted energy over nothing,
too little too late,
needed to be in the moment,
but now I wallow in my failures,
so begin again and start fresh,
tackle the moments as they come,
fresh-faced and open minded,
instead of reacting like I do,
clouded judgment,
angry over my lack of control,
as I bleed away my life,
one day at a time,
but we need to start right now,
get ourselves into the flow,
stop taking the small things so,
letting them set us off track,
and do what we can,
steer the boat away from the rocks,
to somehow keep this afloat,
accentuate the positives,
and let go of the rest,
failures will come and go,
just another lesson learned,
upon the path we shall tread,
one foot in front of the other…
floating through my days,
half-assed and unprepared,
shocked when it all falls apart,
i’ve always known this,
but refuse to do otherwise,
need to take control,
organize my time,
schedule what I can,
pencil in some chaos,
so easy to watch it slip away,
so easy to simply watch,
but then I take exception,
double-guess and berate myself,
more wasted energy over nothing,
too little too late,
needed to be in the moment,
but now I wallow in my failures,
so begin again and start fresh,
tackle the moments as they come,
fresh-faced and open minded,
instead of reacting like I do,
clouded judgment,
angry over my lack of control,
as I bleed away my life,
one day at a time,
but we need to start right now,
get ourselves into the flow,
stop taking the small things so,
letting them set us off track,
and do what we can,
steer the boat away from the rocks,
to somehow keep this afloat,
accentuate the positives,
and let go of the rest,
failures will come and go,
just another lesson learned,
upon the path we shall tread,
one foot in front of the other…
12.11.2007
freedom is just a word
freedom placed on hold,
hold your tongue,
hold your anger,
know your place--boy.
jump through these hoops,
dog and pony show,
aiming for the least common denominator,
same thing as ever before.
we are free men--
to a point,
we are free men--
up until. . .
caught up in the machine,
once again,
stuck in its teeth,
trying to stay sane.
don't bother thinking,
all the possible outcomes,
all the things that should've been,
all the things you should've done.
brace yourself and wait it out,
punished and bludgeoned,
then sent on your way,
nothing to do but wait.
test the fates,
play the game,
this is what you get,
same as it ever was.
they can take it all away,
moment's notice,
a hiccup in time,
rely on nothing.
all you have is whats inside,
all else can be dragged/carried/destroyed,
cannot be anything but what you are,
stand firm and weather the storm.
rules and regulations,
to fit every situation,
loopholes in every direction,
this is what you want/this is what you get.
freedom is just a word,
a meaningless concept,
an empty shell,
until it is taken away.
hold your tongue,
hold your anger,
know your place--boy.
jump through these hoops,
dog and pony show,
aiming for the least common denominator,
same thing as ever before.
we are free men--
to a point,
we are free men--
up until. . .
caught up in the machine,
once again,
stuck in its teeth,
trying to stay sane.
don't bother thinking,
all the possible outcomes,
all the things that should've been,
all the things you should've done.
brace yourself and wait it out,
punished and bludgeoned,
then sent on your way,
nothing to do but wait.
test the fates,
play the game,
this is what you get,
same as it ever was.
they can take it all away,
moment's notice,
a hiccup in time,
rely on nothing.
all you have is whats inside,
all else can be dragged/carried/destroyed,
cannot be anything but what you are,
stand firm and weather the storm.
rules and regulations,
to fit every situation,
loopholes in every direction,
this is what you want/this is what you get.
freedom is just a word,
a meaningless concept,
an empty shell,
until it is taken away.
all those important moments
anger as energy,
destruction condensed,
seeds of my undoing,
generations of self-loathing,
father-tortured/estranged,
while his father sits at the table,
drinking his coffee,
voiceless to the passing of days,
where has he gone,
what has he done,
grandfather-help us,
forsaken for all these generations,
share what little is left,
our yesterdays echoing into tomorrow,
boundaries and borders,
is what they crave,
there is nothing left to learn,
expect our possible multiple endings,
so i too sit soundless,
staring into imagined yesterdays,
rendered useless by hate,
living on and battling,
nothing left except my inner self,
sheltered behind vacant eyes,
ponder all the possibilities,
nothing but this moment is real,
where was I in all those important moments,
acting out of fear and anger,
rendering myself useless.
destruction condensed,
seeds of my undoing,
generations of self-loathing,
father-tortured/estranged,
while his father sits at the table,
drinking his coffee,
voiceless to the passing of days,
where has he gone,
what has he done,
grandfather-help us,
forsaken for all these generations,
share what little is left,
our yesterdays echoing into tomorrow,
boundaries and borders,
is what they crave,
there is nothing left to learn,
expect our possible multiple endings,
so i too sit soundless,
staring into imagined yesterdays,
rendered useless by hate,
living on and battling,
nothing left except my inner self,
sheltered behind vacant eyes,
ponder all the possibilities,
nothing but this moment is real,
where was I in all those important moments,
acting out of fear and anger,
rendering myself useless.
12.04.2007
hockey rink
Gonna make a hockey rink in my backyard,
Something like 17 degrees this morning,
Might as well take advantage of the chill,
Give me something to do,
Give the kids something to do,
Out there playing hockey,
Everyday after school.
Some of the best times I had,
Was playing out on the beaver pond,
Behind the family farm up in Wiky,
Back in the winter of ’95 on Manitoulin Island,
Between Georgian Bay and the North Channel,
A mile or so from Lake Huron,
On Webkamigad Rd. before you get to Kaboni.
Bow, Scump and Big E smoothed the ice,
Went out there most every night,
Shoveled it with their skates on,
Brought up a generator and hung lights up,
Sometimes they would have a bonfire off to the side,
All the cousins and uncles would come skate,
Freezing cold as it was we’d waste away the day.
Pick up games with young and old,
I was just there for comic relief,
Trying not to fall on my a$$,
As even the 5-year-olds skated around me,
The older cousins visiting from Sudbury,
With their stick-handling skills,
Whipping around fast as lightning.
The stars were so bright there at night,
Even with our little string of lights,
The stars shone through,
Unblocked by the city’s glare,
As we criss-crossed our frozen canvas,
Twelve inches thick and sturdy,
Holding up almost half the family.
Walking back to the house,
Steam escaping from our mouths,
Laughing and joking as we went,
Flushed from the physical exertion,
Oblivious to the cold night beyond,
Warmed by the company and time well spent,
Gonna try to bring that to the present.
Something like 17 degrees this morning,
Might as well take advantage of the chill,
Give me something to do,
Give the kids something to do,
Out there playing hockey,
Everyday after school.
Some of the best times I had,
Was playing out on the beaver pond,
Behind the family farm up in Wiky,
Back in the winter of ’95 on Manitoulin Island,
Between Georgian Bay and the North Channel,
A mile or so from Lake Huron,
On Webkamigad Rd. before you get to Kaboni.
Bow, Scump and Big E smoothed the ice,
Went out there most every night,
Shoveled it with their skates on,
Brought up a generator and hung lights up,
Sometimes they would have a bonfire off to the side,
All the cousins and uncles would come skate,
Freezing cold as it was we’d waste away the day.
Pick up games with young and old,
I was just there for comic relief,
Trying not to fall on my a$$,
As even the 5-year-olds skated around me,
The older cousins visiting from Sudbury,
With their stick-handling skills,
Whipping around fast as lightning.
The stars were so bright there at night,
Even with our little string of lights,
The stars shone through,
Unblocked by the city’s glare,
As we criss-crossed our frozen canvas,
Twelve inches thick and sturdy,
Holding up almost half the family.
Walking back to the house,
Steam escaping from our mouths,
Laughing and joking as we went,
Flushed from the physical exertion,
Oblivious to the cold night beyond,
Warmed by the company and time well spent,
Gonna try to bring that to the present.
the height of ignorance
The height of ignorance,
In your eyes/to your mind,
Once again your rules,
Your lies foisted on me,
Believe what you want,
Couldn’t care less,
But don’t tell me,
Or anyone else,
Why your way is the best.
Your God my God,
Its all the same,
We just call him/her/it,
By different names,
The hero with a thousand faces,
The God with a thousand names,
All the same,
Wrought by mind,
Cannot be otherwise.
Same DNA same chemistry,
Runs through me,
As runs through you,
Formed of the same stuff,
Climbed out of the primordial ooze,
So don’t tell me,
About your holier-than-thou views,
If I’m wrong I’ll burn in hell,
But I’ll be damned if I live a lie,
Pretending to believe when I do not.
If there is a God,
I’m just saying,
Just for the sake of argument,
Why would it not be the same,
Or is your God somehow better,
Bigger and faster and less filling,
But I just find it so amusing,
That you would claim it devalues,
Whatever the hell it is I believe.
I’ll be the judge of that,
Thank you very much,
Please don’t save me from myself,
I’ll go on believing,
Or not believing whatever it is,
But I’ll just keep that to myself,
Not trying to convert anyone else,
My views and yours spring forth,
Just a product of mind,
For whatever it’s worth.
In your eyes/to your mind,
Once again your rules,
Your lies foisted on me,
Believe what you want,
Couldn’t care less,
But don’t tell me,
Or anyone else,
Why your way is the best.
Your God my God,
Its all the same,
We just call him/her/it,
By different names,
The hero with a thousand faces,
The God with a thousand names,
All the same,
Wrought by mind,
Cannot be otherwise.
Same DNA same chemistry,
Runs through me,
As runs through you,
Formed of the same stuff,
Climbed out of the primordial ooze,
So don’t tell me,
About your holier-than-thou views,
If I’m wrong I’ll burn in hell,
But I’ll be damned if I live a lie,
Pretending to believe when I do not.
If there is a God,
I’m just saying,
Just for the sake of argument,
Why would it not be the same,
Or is your God somehow better,
Bigger and faster and less filling,
But I just find it so amusing,
That you would claim it devalues,
Whatever the hell it is I believe.
I’ll be the judge of that,
Thank you very much,
Please don’t save me from myself,
I’ll go on believing,
Or not believing whatever it is,
But I’ll just keep that to myself,
Not trying to convert anyone else,
My views and yours spring forth,
Just a product of mind,
For whatever it’s worth.
if and when
If and when,
Someday we sort this out,
I get past my self,
And you get past yours,
Maybe we’ll look back and laugh,
All the petty arguments,
All the angry words thrown,
What was it we wanted,
So many years ago,
Thought I had it sorted,
Maybe just wishing,
Grasping and clinging,
Thought it was love,
But what do I know,
Wishing I believed,
Always wanted a piece,
But wanting and having,
Not always the same thing,
Tired of hurting you,
Tired of hurting my self,
Keep giving you space,
Keep giving you time,
But what do you want,
Trying to listen,
But you don’t always say,
What it is you need,
Always had to overcome,
Your fear your distance,
Acknowledge that for once,
The walls you throw up,
To keep everyone out,
Got me looking in,
Wishing I could get back in,
What is it I don’t do,
Cannot do,
Self can’t help,
But take it personally,
Only the most important relationship,
I’ve ever had,
Will ever have,
So very wrong.
In so many ways,
Not sure how much more,
This heart can take.
Someday we sort this out,
I get past my self,
And you get past yours,
Maybe we’ll look back and laugh,
All the petty arguments,
All the angry words thrown,
What was it we wanted,
So many years ago,
Thought I had it sorted,
Maybe just wishing,
Grasping and clinging,
Thought it was love,
But what do I know,
Wishing I believed,
Always wanted a piece,
But wanting and having,
Not always the same thing,
Tired of hurting you,
Tired of hurting my self,
Keep giving you space,
Keep giving you time,
But what do you want,
Trying to listen,
But you don’t always say,
What it is you need,
Always had to overcome,
Your fear your distance,
Acknowledge that for once,
The walls you throw up,
To keep everyone out,
Got me looking in,
Wishing I could get back in,
What is it I don’t do,
Cannot do,
Self can’t help,
But take it personally,
Only the most important relationship,
I’ve ever had,
Will ever have,
So very wrong.
In so many ways,
Not sure how much more,
This heart can take.
12.03.2007
note to my binojiinhs (my babies)
Just a note to my binojiinhs,
Many years from now I hope,
The three of you will need to decide,
Do as you wish whatever you want,
I have always said that funerals aren’t for the dead,
They are for the living so you decide,
What to do with my lifeless corpse,
Empty of energy or breath,
The heart suddenly stopped,
The blood grinds to a halt,
Mouth agape and eyes lifeless,
The rot begins soon after,
This lifeless blob before you,
Oh binojiinhs how I wish we could live forever,
But how long would it be until we tired,
So much pain-so much compromise,
I don’t know what this life is even for,
But I knew nothing-felt nothing before you,
You were my reason for being,
The reason I woke up everyday,
Slogged my way through another miserable shift,
Put up with all of your mother’s shit,
To keep you happy and fed,
To give you the opportunities to do whatever,
That was what life meant to me,
I leave you with nothing but memories,
I hope most of them are good,
Wish sometimes that you had been born rich,
Maybe to better parents somewhere else,
But selfish as I am,
Just happy to have been your father,
To see and be and live with you,
I hope I gave you the best part of me,
Since I will no longer need anything,
Reduced to ashes or returned to the ground,
Many years from now and far away,
From the place of my own birth,
Across the ocean during the war,
Never having expected to know love or joy,
But the times with you were the best of all,
Nothing else even comes close,
Nothing else even matters in comparison,
I hope I gave you a fragment of that back,
I hope that I did well by the three of you,
And my the greatest pain will be leaving you here,
The three of you to fend for yourselves.
Many years from now I hope,
The three of you will need to decide,
Do as you wish whatever you want,
I have always said that funerals aren’t for the dead,
They are for the living so you decide,
What to do with my lifeless corpse,
Empty of energy or breath,
The heart suddenly stopped,
The blood grinds to a halt,
Mouth agape and eyes lifeless,
The rot begins soon after,
This lifeless blob before you,
Oh binojiinhs how I wish we could live forever,
But how long would it be until we tired,
So much pain-so much compromise,
I don’t know what this life is even for,
But I knew nothing-felt nothing before you,
You were my reason for being,
The reason I woke up everyday,
Slogged my way through another miserable shift,
Put up with all of your mother’s shit,
To keep you happy and fed,
To give you the opportunities to do whatever,
That was what life meant to me,
I leave you with nothing but memories,
I hope most of them are good,
Wish sometimes that you had been born rich,
Maybe to better parents somewhere else,
But selfish as I am,
Just happy to have been your father,
To see and be and live with you,
I hope I gave you the best part of me,
Since I will no longer need anything,
Reduced to ashes or returned to the ground,
Many years from now and far away,
From the place of my own birth,
Across the ocean during the war,
Never having expected to know love or joy,
But the times with you were the best of all,
Nothing else even comes close,
Nothing else even matters in comparison,
I hope I gave you a fragment of that back,
I hope that I did well by the three of you,
And my the greatest pain will be leaving you here,
The three of you to fend for yourselves.
simple minded
Can’t claim that I’ve done no wrong,
Of course I have-just like everyone else,
We all stumble and fall and keep going,
Whether we want to or whether we should,
Just life coursing through our veins,
Doing as we are told by our biology.
But I have a hard accepting this just now,
Your statement to me when I was distraught,
You fulfilling your duties to the binojiinhs,
But you have no real bond to me,
Just raising the children and doing whatever,
I don’t think I can continue doing this.
Always those three will be with me,
As I know that they will with you,
But so tired of this game that we play,
Don’t want or need any of this,
Just let it go-let us go-let me go,
I know I’ll be better off on my own.
This has been dragging on for so long,
You said you told me but I never listen,
You said he have been totally upfront,
Am I really so naive that I didn’t see,
Or do I just see and hear what I want,
Hiding myself from the simple truth.
Maybe I am brand new to being human,
Re-incarnated from some kind of animal,
Or a bug or whatever else,
Blind and stupid to human ways,
Eating up the lies and wasting my days,
Killing time until life sets me free.
If I could choose would I even try,
Not for sure at this very moment,
What’s the point if love is false,
What’s the point if there is no meaning,
Torturing ourselves one lifetime after another,
Until we stop the cycle and stop playing the game.
Simple-minded like a child,
Accepting everything I see and am told,
Complications and justifications blur,
Just a simple man and nothing more,
Never wanted anything but to live,
To find happiness somewhere with someone.
Happiness is not here not with you,
So let us start living again,
Do whatever it is you want to do,
Somehow I need to be true to the binojiinhs,
But that begins with letting you go,
No other way no other route I see,
The end of hope begets another start,
Footstep after footstep a new journey begins.
Of course I have-just like everyone else,
We all stumble and fall and keep going,
Whether we want to or whether we should,
Just life coursing through our veins,
Doing as we are told by our biology.
But I have a hard accepting this just now,
Your statement to me when I was distraught,
You fulfilling your duties to the binojiinhs,
But you have no real bond to me,
Just raising the children and doing whatever,
I don’t think I can continue doing this.
Always those three will be with me,
As I know that they will with you,
But so tired of this game that we play,
Don’t want or need any of this,
Just let it go-let us go-let me go,
I know I’ll be better off on my own.
This has been dragging on for so long,
You said you told me but I never listen,
You said he have been totally upfront,
Am I really so naive that I didn’t see,
Or do I just see and hear what I want,
Hiding myself from the simple truth.
Maybe I am brand new to being human,
Re-incarnated from some kind of animal,
Or a bug or whatever else,
Blind and stupid to human ways,
Eating up the lies and wasting my days,
Killing time until life sets me free.
If I could choose would I even try,
Not for sure at this very moment,
What’s the point if love is false,
What’s the point if there is no meaning,
Torturing ourselves one lifetime after another,
Until we stop the cycle and stop playing the game.
Simple-minded like a child,
Accepting everything I see and am told,
Complications and justifications blur,
Just a simple man and nothing more,
Never wanted anything but to live,
To find happiness somewhere with someone.
Happiness is not here not with you,
So let us start living again,
Do whatever it is you want to do,
Somehow I need to be true to the binojiinhs,
But that begins with letting you go,
No other way no other route I see,
The end of hope begets another start,
Footstep after footstep a new journey begins.
death of narrative
Death of narrative,
Or so I’ve heard,
Flooded with opinions,
Up to our necks in other’s thoughts,
Just need to spill my guts,
Forget about sorting it out,
Don’t bother finding a moral,
You live you die,
Everything else resides in between.
Always looking for an explanation,
Looking for a reason,
Expecting some kind of something,
But none can be found,
Stories are simply told,
Need to be digested,
Draw your own conclusions,
Shut up and live,
Shut off the internal critic.
Whoever told you it makes sense,
Must have had something to sell,
Life just is-nothing else,
Our minds too small to fathom,
Will we ever know ever realize,
Maybe but I’ll be long dead,
Not even a distant memory,
Nothing inherently wrong with that,
Brought forth from the void only to go back.
This is my story,
For what its worth,
This is what I have seen,
This is what I have done,
These are my supramundane thoughts,
This is the essence of what I call me,
Not that much different from you,
Despite the games we play,
And the boundaries we place.
I leave it to someone else to analyze,
To deconstruct and rip apart,
No good no bad,
Just this and nothing else,
Blessed to be in human form,
Even if for only a moment,
Just an instant just a flash,
Beginnings and endings entwined,
The now echoing into endless time.
Or so I’ve heard,
Flooded with opinions,
Up to our necks in other’s thoughts,
Just need to spill my guts,
Forget about sorting it out,
Don’t bother finding a moral,
You live you die,
Everything else resides in between.
Always looking for an explanation,
Looking for a reason,
Expecting some kind of something,
But none can be found,
Stories are simply told,
Need to be digested,
Draw your own conclusions,
Shut up and live,
Shut off the internal critic.
Whoever told you it makes sense,
Must have had something to sell,
Life just is-nothing else,
Our minds too small to fathom,
Will we ever know ever realize,
Maybe but I’ll be long dead,
Not even a distant memory,
Nothing inherently wrong with that,
Brought forth from the void only to go back.
This is my story,
For what its worth,
This is what I have seen,
This is what I have done,
These are my supramundane thoughts,
This is the essence of what I call me,
Not that much different from you,
Despite the games we play,
And the boundaries we place.
I leave it to someone else to analyze,
To deconstruct and rip apart,
No good no bad,
Just this and nothing else,
Blessed to be in human form,
Even if for only a moment,
Just an instant just a flash,
Beginnings and endings entwined,
The now echoing into endless time.
12.01.2007
work
my line of work can be pretty crappy some times...
But...I'm really good at what I do...
So I've been trying to make the best of it--
the funnest/most challenging job I've ever had was as a line cook at this fancy restaurant while I was attending college--
I've managed to channel some of the good aspects of that to my current job.
I'm the floor supervisor and have to handle my responsibilites as well as keep track of the everyone else's progress and be available to answer my employees' or other's question and trouble-shoot any other problems as needed...
I talk a lot of smack with my co-workers but they know me well enough to understand that 1) it's all in good fun 2) i would do anything for them; for the most part, they seem to reciprocate.
while working in fast food dives/cherry farms/mushroom canning plants/groundskeeping, etc . . . as a student, I wanted to explore/practice some of my spiritual beliefs---as someone who has an interest in Buddhism/Native spirituality, I do believe that those beliefs can make me a better supervisor/co-worker/employee...
But it's a daily practice and sometimes things don't work out quite the way you thought/had hoped, but then someone totally surprises you/exceeds your expectations--and teaches you something about faith/trust/humility in an instant...
flexibility/having an open mind/being able to not take myself so seriously...those are the keys for me right now. I try to practice those things on a daily basis when possible...sometimes I have no choice.
but my job, despite its many faults (much like me) has its merits and I try to give my best effort, to give my attention to the details, and I feel more fulfilled and satisfied in the process...
But...I'm really good at what I do...
So I've been trying to make the best of it--
the funnest/most challenging job I've ever had was as a line cook at this fancy restaurant while I was attending college--
I've managed to channel some of the good aspects of that to my current job.
I'm the floor supervisor and have to handle my responsibilites as well as keep track of the everyone else's progress and be available to answer my employees' or other's question and trouble-shoot any other problems as needed...
I talk a lot of smack with my co-workers but they know me well enough to understand that 1) it's all in good fun 2) i would do anything for them; for the most part, they seem to reciprocate.
while working in fast food dives/cherry farms/mushroom canning plants/groundskeeping, etc . . . as a student, I wanted to explore/practice some of my spiritual beliefs---as someone who has an interest in Buddhism/Native spirituality, I do believe that those beliefs can make me a better supervisor/co-worker/employee...
But it's a daily practice and sometimes things don't work out quite the way you thought/had hoped, but then someone totally surprises you/exceeds your expectations--and teaches you something about faith/trust/humility in an instant...
flexibility/having an open mind/being able to not take myself so seriously...those are the keys for me right now. I try to practice those things on a daily basis when possible...sometimes I have no choice.
but my job, despite its many faults (much like me) has its merits and I try to give my best effort, to give my attention to the details, and I feel more fulfilled and satisfied in the process...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
