rotting under the noonday sun

Nothing, no one, nada. All alone, nothing and no one to see or speak to. Disconnected, disenfranchised, disillusioned, diseased. Drying, rotting under the noonday sun, flies swarming all around me, my own filth and stench sickening me as I lie here in a heap. What is it that I want? What do I want? The seeking, greedy mind keeps grasping for something, I know not what. I want, and want and want---the wanting is eating me alive. I throw money at it, I placate the greed with soda, cigarettes, rice, chicken, fish sauce, hot peppers, beer and video
games.

Sickenly, sickeningly, sickening, stomach grrwling, feels so empty, feels like I haven’t had anything to eat all day. Just sucking air, all day long. Belly full of hot dry air, that I belch back up to empty that empty stomach even more. Gonna get a pop, drink up 200, 300 empty calories to fill my gut, rot my teeth some more. Back molar’s been killing me for months now, hanging on by a thread, a coupla nerves, gonna need that root canal to undo the damage done. Gotta go see that dentista, not the same ole one, ex-MSU footballer, played for the N.Y. Titans, must be close to retiring, too much MSU paraphernalia in that office. Philosphically, sophistically, sophisticatedly, killing myself slowly with all this crapola, shinola. Don’t know one from another. Mudder o’God, Jesus Christo, Jesu o man’s desiring, what the hell?