answer the question

I keep getting these chain-emails from my co-workers, not really sure why. They all know I'm not Christian, but they're always asking me to pray for them or somebody or don't break the chain or it'll give me bad luck . . . the really funny ones are the type that use some quote about karma or the ones that try to use pseudo-Buddhist philosphy. I got one that supposedly originated with the Dalai Lama about good fortune and all this other nonsense--I usually just delete them without responding-- but I filled one out, just for fun---

Answer the questions and forward to your friends AND the person who sent it to you! Just copy and paste into a new email, delete the original posters answers and add in your answers!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? a little bit of Nog with my RUM

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? He out sources to sweatshops throughout SouthEast Asia. Mostly underage children do all the work-- the elves unionized and got fired.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Purple skulls still hanging from Halloween.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Nope.

5. When do you put up your decorations? Halloween decorations, pretty much year-round.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish? Thai food.

7. Favorite Holiday memory? My older cousins ganged up on me at the family get-together, smacked me around a bit and I hit my head-- my old man grabbed me and threw me up against the wall and then dragged me out to the car, where I sat for an hour and a half in a freezing cold car in a bad part of Detroit while mom and dad got stinking drunk.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? My parents were pretty half-a$$ed about the whole thing since mom was Buddhist and dad was agnostic, so never really bought into that lie.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? No. We don't do Christmas.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? Trees are a Celtic/Druid symbol and I'm not Celtic/Druid so I don't do the tree thang. Of course, the Roman Emperor Constantine took the Festival of Saturnalia and transformed it into the Christmas celebration while incorporating the formerly underground church into said empire.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Hate the krrrap, but the kids and I got snow skates (bigger than a skateboard, smaller than a snowboard, no bindings) so we're looking forward to the first big snow. Maybe we'll make a snow half-pipe in the yard if we get enough this winter.

12. Can you ice skate? Not very well. My 4-year-old is supposed to start skating lessons, but says he doesn't want to because "the ice is too slippery."

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? The one year where my old man passed out early in the evening cuz he was too drunk. He didn't smack me or my mom around that year--at least not til he sobered up.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Overtime.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Whatever's cool with me.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? I used to run away when I was younger, now I just do a lot of overtime--kinda the same thing isn't it?

17. What tops your tree? We gots no stinkin tree . . .

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Depends what we're talking about here . . . kind of a kinky question, ennit?

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? "Father Christmas" by the Kinks: "Father Christmas, give us your money, we don't have time for your stupid toys . . . we'll beat you up if you don't hand it over . . ."

20. Candy Canes! Bah humbug . . .