stream of consciousness

Suffocating, can’t breathe. Nothing, nothing, meaningless, empty.
Where’d I put that lip balm? Just another addiction to soothe my damaged ego.
Emptiness, emptiness, nothing. Wish I could breathe just now.
Tornado watch in effect, had a big storm yesterday. My head’s been killing me.
Something about the change in barometric pressure, I can always feel a storm coming.
Nada, nada, zilch, zero, nothing, no one. Canker sore’s killing me.
Wanted to go skating, streets were too wet, still drying off from yesterday’s deluge.
Rotting away, everyday closer to death, sucking air, sucking wind.
Wish a tornado would knock my little shack over, start from scratch.
Anything’s better than that overpriced hole that I can’t even afford.
Another ninety-day late to drag down my credit report.
Creditors calling my house every day, at all hours.
Nothing to say to them, so I don’t answer.
No money, except for some loosed change kicking around in the car.
The car that I didn’t make a payment on,
the one that hasn’t had insurance since last month.
The same one that needs a new something-or-other on the front passenger side, I hear the hardware jiggling around every time I turn a corner or hit a pothole.
Shut up. Shut up. Drop dead. Go die. Stupid f@#$.
How the hell did it get to this point? How the hell did it get so bad?
Emptiness, emptiness, whatever. Who cares anyways?
If that storm comes, we’re going to be in deep trouble.
Stupid sump pump is busted. Basement’s gonna flood.
One nostril totally plugged, not getting enough oxygen, I’m sure.
Doesn’t seem fair, doesn’t seem right.
Shi’s dying and here I am bitchin about whatever.
I’m worth more dead than alive, nothing I can do right now . . .
Dying wouldn’t solve anything, but it’s killing me to sit here and do nothing.
Maybe only the good die young, cause here I am stilling kicking around,
Despite my intentions, despite my stupidity.
Sleep, need to sleep. Just want to sleep.
Shi, Shi, Shi, what a cruel life this can be.
Shi’s dad died when she was a baby, never even got to know him.
Her kids, her mom, Auntie S_ . . . what are they gonna do?
You don’t get what you need, don’t get what you deserve . . .
Not in this lifetime. Not in this plane of existence.
My creditors don’t seem to give a rat’sass about life and death or whatever.
Axed everyone I know for some zhooniya, getting turned down everywhere.
The bank, credit union, brother-in-law, you name it.
Zhooniya, zhooniya zhooniya.
Gonna kill the bastage that invented that crapola, for sure.
Starting to breathe a little better, Zyrtec must be kicking in.
Someone’s cooking ramen in the kitchen, chicken flavor.
Need to go to the Asian food mart, stock up on rice noodles and ramen.
Cheaper than dirt, too much MSG, shouldn’t be eating so much processed food.
Can’t afford nothing else. Can’t stomach anything else.
Rice, fish sauce and peppers.
All I want, all I need.
Nothing, Nada, Nil.
Here comes the rain. Here it comes again. I love the rain. I love the rain.
Rain. Gimewaan. Fon-took.
Giichii Manido shii-shiik, so Z used to say.
It’s all shii-shiik, son. Shii-shiik and miizii.