note to my binojiinhs (my babies)

Just a note to my binojiinhs,
Many years from now I hope,
The three of you will need to decide,
Do as you wish whatever you want,
I have always said that funerals aren’t for the dead,
They are for the living so you decide,
What to do with my lifeless corpse,
Empty of energy or breath,
The heart suddenly stopped,
The blood grinds to a halt,
Mouth agape and eyes lifeless,
The rot begins soon after,
This lifeless blob before you,
Oh binojiinhs how I wish we could live forever,
But how long would it be until we tired,
So much pain-so much compromise,
I don’t know what this life is even for,
But I knew nothing-felt nothing before you,
You were my reason for being,
The reason I woke up everyday,
Slogged my way through another miserable shift,
Put up with all of your mother’s shit,
To keep you happy and fed,
To give you the opportunities to do whatever,
That was what life meant to me,
I leave you with nothing but memories,
I hope most of them are good,
Wish sometimes that you had been born rich,
Maybe to better parents somewhere else,
But selfish as I am,
Just happy to have been your father,
To see and be and live with you,
I hope I gave you the best part of me,
Since I will no longer need anything,
Reduced to ashes or returned to the ground,
Many years from now and far away,
From the place of my own birth,
Across the ocean during the war,
Never having expected to know love or joy,
But the times with you were the best of all,
Nothing else even comes close,
Nothing else even matters in comparison,
I hope I gave you a fragment of that back,
I hope that I did well by the three of you,
And my the greatest pain will be leaving you here,
The three of you to fend for yourselves.