if and when

If and when,
Someday we sort this out,
I get past my self,
And you get past yours,
Maybe we’ll look back and laugh,
All the petty arguments,
All the angry words thrown,
What was it we wanted,
So many years ago,
Thought I had it sorted,
Maybe just wishing,
Grasping and clinging,
Thought it was love,
But what do I know,
Wishing I believed,
Always wanted a piece,
But wanting and having,
Not always the same thing,
Tired of hurting you,
Tired of hurting my self,
Keep giving you space,
Keep giving you time,
But what do you want,
Trying to listen,
But you don’t always say,
What it is you need,
Always had to overcome,
Your fear your distance,
Acknowledge that for once,
The walls you throw up,
To keep everyone out,
Got me looking in,
Wishing I could get back in,
What is it I don’t do,
Cannot do,
Self can’t help,
But take it personally,
Only the most important relationship,
I’ve ever had,
Will ever have,
So very wrong.
In so many ways,
Not sure how much more,
This heart can take.