where you at Slakjack?

Where have you gone SlakJack?
The Old Man Army needs you back,
Have you seen him? Where has he gone?
Is he skiing in Montana from dust until dawn?
Maybe he snuck down to Arizona in the middle of the night,
Saw all the fun that Hughes and company had and booked a flight.
Jamming with Dreadlox, getting schooled by Oldguytom,
Looking for Orezona (he’s a brand-new daddy, now’s dat’s the bomb—),
Paying his respects to OldMans Brian and Mike,
Seeing firsthand what D.I.Y. and dedication is like.
Roasting under the burning skies, rad stylings done sky high,
Kicking it with skinner, oldsk8r and anyone else that happens by,
Like Crash and Billy, tekno, luckybastard and Westsidematt,
Jlcopr5150, airsick, frogzila, pinky and the rest of you AZ cats.
Or perhaps he took that long-awaited trip to Fiji,
Can’t be sure, maybe we should consult the Ouiji,
Either way, either or, the boards just aren’t the same,
Minus Slakjack, the skate/ski/bike-master addicted to pain.
Maybe he made it to Shanghai or hooked up with Jonno,
Down in Thailand or Indonesia or Singpore, I just dunno.
Perchance he’s in Britain, chatting with Gazza,
Drinking brews and listening to Ofra Haza.
PM Trevenen and Alec, ask them if he’s visiting,
Over in Surrey or Cornwall, shopping for bling,
Shredding with Aa-shi and Chili down by the sea,
Or over in Sussex with Jellyhead, where else could he be?
SteveS, Woody, Dobbo, Wayne-ur, Sam, Joolz
Munchh with the sexy tube socks, theHobbit too,
Go about your business as you normally do,
But report back to OMA if you spot this kook.
I have no idea where he might have gone,
Sorry noeyedear, nearly left you out of my song,
Pass my query along to southcoastshredder,
The more the merrier, the more the better,
Ask TonyB and the rest of London’s tube-way clique,
Or ChrisK, vilms, southbankboy, BDP all demboyz is just sick.
Or he might have fallen in with that OZ crew,
Kicking it with Bill or Wafflesole, drinking some brews,
Living life not merely planning, delaying,
Out there doing what he wants, out there playing.
Boomerdog, insaneTFO, and the rest of the Aussie crew,
Hide your wives, your children, and your dingos too,
If Slackjack’s in your hood, please be extra aware,
Homeboy’s plain crazy, but that’s precisely why we care.
He represents the child in all of us, free-spirited and unedited,
He says what we’re thinking, and we’re all much indebted,
To the wild man child from down Idaho way,
Living his life not for tomorrow, but for today,
Homeboy started skating at the age of thirty-nine,
Is now ripping Hailey, barefoot, alla the time.
Maybe he hitch-hiked to Louisville and is skating,
Hooked up with the Concretins, busy creating,
Skating the full pipe or that giant half, it’s hard to say,
Either way, either or, enjoying life, living for today.
SlakJack, did you move back to Cali,
Get yourself a new girl, named Betty, June or Sally,
Skating with Tioem, ERIC31, antix818, or MadSpaniard,
Timnator, DaveB7, flapping your arms, just like a bird?
Or are you still in the Pacific Northwest,
Depends who you ask, but they claim their crete is the best,
Are you visiting with Fleabagmatt, Boisetom or cskate
(By the way, his website, OldSchoolSkaters is just great),
Oregonparkskater, swervo, Ping! and Hughes are all here,
But then again, you’ve probably skated with them guys for years.
There’s a whole big Canadian crew brewing,
Trying to do the same thing that you’ve been doing,
Have you met Topgun, TorontoSK8 or boomboom,
If not, you need to get back on the board real soon.
Do you remember some cat named skategeezer,
He puts out Concrete Wave mag, a real crowd-pleaser,
But you’re probably up at Whistler with wavesowner snowboarding,
Or in Stockholm, Sweden with that oldschooler, H, fjord-ing,
Don’t know what that means, I just made it up.
Maybe you’re in Texas hanging with SA_ditch and jduck.
Stop in and say hi to Stalag 5, he’s over there as well,
Better go and check on O’johnny, weather’s been giving him hell,
I know I’m forgetting someone and I apologize,
Ratnut, bhop73, bknockazz, tempie, didn’t mean to forget you guys,
Bondiboy66, Dr.Doom, discipleofsketch, should also be recognized,
Along with braman, DomitianX, shoester--really too many to list,
So if I left you out, (like Chef for instance) please don’t get pist.
Don’t forget those Colorado boys under 4 feet of snow,
MileHighSkates and PMiller, for those who don’t know,
Maybe Slak’s skating that crazy/sick Totem Bowl,
owned/built/skated by some dude named freakbro.
Could be Slak’s visiting El Gato Negro in France,
hope someone warned him that homie don’t wear no underpants,
Likes to fly his boys free, blowing in the breeze,
Flapping in the wind, clean shaven as can be.
You east coasters be on the look out,
If you come across Slak, give a shout,
Jessup, OldBoardBum, Jer and theMutt,
Help out an old homie and get him out of his rut,
Show him your pools, your ramps and your secret spots,
Take him to your ditches, your minis, even to parking lots.
BigOldScab, Scon, Midlo, ghop77 and my boy Wormy13,
Show the Slackster what skateboarding really means,
To those far from the sun and glamour of the left coast,
And shamhammer from Brooklyn NYC never one to boast,
But he’s holding it down in the city that never ever sleeps
I think I got everyone, I think I named alla my peeps.
For those of you living in Idaho, keep an eye out,
Let him know we wish him the best, leave no doubt,
And we hope to see his safe return to the board,
Though his spelling faltered, his words always soared.
I miss the Slakjack, this is true--but a note to the lama of llamas,
I mean that in the most non-gayest way, so nix the drama,
Just giving respect where respect is due,
I’m sure if you was gone, I’d miss you too.