mantra addict

the voice that i hear is a pain in more ways than one. it tells me i'm not good enough, I'm not worthy of whatever . . . it's not just pessimistic--it's fatalistic.
the voice says that there is no point to any of this (buddhism/skateborading/life--anything) and that i should just give up. on my bad days i allow this voice to paralyze me-- or i try to run away from it.
on my good days i don't care what the voice says. i live. i don't judge. i just do. not sure what to make of all of this, but i've been trying to be more positive in my outlook.
remember the last line from the Suicidal Tendencies song, "Institutionalized"? i liked it because it was silly, stupid, and so over the top--"it doesn't matter, i'll probably just get hit by a car anyway."
the problem is, that is the way that i have been living my life. that is the mantra that i repeat to myself day-in-day-out.
i need a new mantra. i never liked mantras much, i always viewed them as being tools for the weak. well guess what? i am weak. i need to admit that. over the years i have used various mantras-- it was just something i did almost subconciously. if i was chasing after a girl, her name would just repeat in my mind. after each of my children were born, their name would be utmost in my conciousness.
i need more positivity, need to have more "happy thoughts" like the Saturday Night Live skit. if nothing else, i need to end the stream of negativity that flows through my conciousness each and everyday.