charged G.B.H.

Charged G.B.H.--
not the band but the criminal act,
charges filed waiting to hear back,
just gotta wait and see,
whose lies the prosecutor believes,
seems like there's always something,
just wanna live my life in peace,
just seems like a pipe dream.
Tired of all the drama,
is it me or is it my babies' mama,
one or both are to blame,
on the verge of going insane,
walking around under a black cloud,
somethings gotta give,
somethings gotta change,
ran our race need to walk away.
There is no us hasn't been for five years,
so why am I still hanging around here,
grew up not knowing my folks,
until I was five or so,
never felt apart of anything,
never wanted that for my kids,
never even wanted kids,
but she changed my mind.
I try to do for them all I can,
but at what point will it end,
like riding a board with two bad wheels,
the other half just not helping out,
takes all I have not to scream and shout,
turning into my father,
who I never loved,
who never loved anything not even himself.
Just a little bit of help,
a show of respect,
nothing is as it was,
everything seems wrecked,
but maybe if I make the first step,
maybe this thing can be salvaged just yet,
nothing else I can do about the rest,
if it doesn't work out maybe I'll head out west.
Life seems so open and full of promise,
back when you're eighteen,
your head filled with silly dreams,
twenty years later and you're still nowhere,
what were all those things you wanted,
that you thought were within reach,
where's your confidence now,
mr. mangadezi please take a bow.
So what are you going to do,
keep getting by,
continue living the lie,
is that what you want your children to do,
twenty years from now,
when little Nan turns thirty-two,
will she be going through the motions,
just like your wife, just like you?