slow it down

She talks to everyone like they’re four years old,
Long and slow, enunciating every word,
Vacant expression on her face,
Never ever varies her pace.
Repeating everything you say,
Always trying to explain,
But she has no clue what she is talking about,
Talking to her exasperates, makes you want to shout.
Trying to sound like she is doing something,
Trying to hide the fact that she knows next to nothing,
Slow and steady, steady as she goes,
How she ever got hired, nobody knows.
She likes to tell us that she has paid her dues,
And she’s not doing no more nothing for these fools,
Only problem is that the rest of us have to pick up the slack,
Covering for her, while trying to take care of our own stacks.
Out of the blue, completely off the cuff,
She’ll make weird statements about all kinds of stuff,
Like the fact that she has been saved,
Praises Jesus, sounding semi-crazed.
Not that any of us had ever asked,
But share she does and testifies to the last.
She seems to forget that I’m a born-again pagan,
Praying to the infinite and mysterious creation,
My co-lead is driving me crazy,
Cannot believe someone can be so lazy.
I try to lead the shift by example,
What little she does, she feels is ample,
On an on I go, beginning to ramble,
Gotta slow it down, can’t take a gamble.
I need to give exactly what I get,
Need to follow the example of the vets,
Slow it down, don’t make no sound,
Do the absolute minimum, when no one is around.