it was nothing special

There is not much I can tell you about my childhood
It was nothing special not to me anyway
But we were raised differently you and I
The context/circumstances are totally different.
I was just thinking about your mom’s appendectomy,
You were six weeks old or something like that
Suddenly I was forced to take care of you
Since Mom wasn’t allowed to lift you at all.
It forced me to take an active role with you
Middle of the night feedings diaper changes
It forced me to be a father a dad
And it couldn’t have worked out any better.
I didn’t even meet my father until I was five
He was forced into the role of father unexpectedly
Did the best he could under the circumstances
spoiled as I was, headstrong, language barrier and all.
I tried to learn from his mistakes
Raised you quite differently
Gave you love and support in all things
At least that is what your mother and I strived for.
Life throws challenges and situations our way
To make us stronger to help us learn
Your health has been a hurdle to all of us
But the lessons to be learned are many.
Life is short and no one knows when it will end,
The everyday struggle blinds us to that fact,
But each and every moment of every day
Should not be wasted or be taken for granted.
You are already ahead of me in so many ways
How you carried yourself persevered against illness,
What you think and how you express those thoughts
We have tried to give you everything that we lacked.
I do not have most of the answers that you seek
Many perceptions and beliefs have turned out wrong
My cravings and clinging are for material things
My concepts and paradigms are built upon illusions.
I hope that we have pointed you in the right direction
That you will succeed where we have failed
There is no integration of theory and action
But our hopes are with you and with the future.
My baby boy turns fourteen in a matter of days
It really does seem just like yesterday
I used to think that was such a stupid cliché
But now I feel it see it for myself.
Someday perhaps you will tell your children
That your childhood was grand and glorious
That your parents treated you like a prince
Because they loved you so much.
We do not have much as far as material things
Despite my obsession with collecting and spending
but we have tried to give you a solid foundation
tried to give you a childhood that was extra special.
Like Prince Siddhartha you were pampered and spoiled
But like the prince you will have to venture outward
And see disease old age and death for yourself
But we never shielded you from the truth.
Life is full of paradox and confusion
Beauty and ugliness pain and joy intertwined
I do not have the answers for you my son
But our love we have given for you to carry forward.