joy in suffering

This game called life-
sandwiched between the extremes of birth and death,
so full of joy but yet so painful at times.
Anxiety and worry overwhelm me now,
Home and security threatened—
The almighty dollar rules this life.
To live and be happy,
Was everything to me,
But happiness has proved to be elusive.
Fleeting moments here and there,
Followed by chasms of struggle and grief,
Eons of regret and longing.
What do I want?
Do I even know?
And who is this I that wants or knows?
There are few answers,
Just more questions—
Vicious circle spins round and round.
I buy and buy,
Accumulate so many needless things,
To stave off the day of reckoning.
I buy into the lie,
The illusion that possessions,
Will somehow shield me from reality.
I accepted the terms and conditions,
Sealed the deal,
Oblivious to the damage and consequences.
Reckless heedless youth,
Plummeting toward disaster,
Awakening at the point of impact.
So much blame,
So much second-guessing,
So little action.
The time is now,
As it always has been,
Only this single constant moment.
Life begins and ends at this moment,
Is lived out in terror and misery,
Or in happiness and joy.
In the final analysis,
What is all for,
Of what use is any of this?
The living to keep living,
And the dead to remind us that life is fleeting,
But yet we take such joy in suffering.