brotherman

brother man,
half a country away,
me in the frozen north,
you down there in the desert,
did i mention how good it is to hear from you?
i'm struggling with myself,
and my other half,
searching for the answers,
on the frets of my guitar,
over turf you've probabally covered before,
trying to act so strong for all these years,
i'm just a scared little kid,
standing at a party store counter,
on the corner of 8-mile and mound,
trying to buy cigarettes for my friends,
just wanna be liked like everyone else.
what the hell you want, kid?
just shut up and give me some smokes,
some beer...
please, just shut up, i ask with my eyes...
but you know what it's like,
to be surrounded but so alone,
staring through the bullet-proof glass,
risking everything that i never had,
just to be accepted for a moment.
how the hell did it all come to this,
what i've seen what i've done,
nothing much seems to matter any more,
haven't i given up enough?
watching my grams and uncles waste away,
on betel-nut and a heroin daze,
watched mom take the punches,
watched dad drink away his yesterdays and tomorrows,
i cy every time i hear a Motown song,
promises of what never was...
people like us,
what do we ever really deserve,
a warm dry corner to fall asleep,
filling our pillows with our sobs,
teardrops silently staining the sheets,
cockroaches on the walls,
a city falling apart beyond,
no one caring other than caseworkers,
but they're there just to draw that paycheck.
so now what do i do 25 years after the fact,
living the same lie as ever before,
walk out on my kids and say goodbye?
shrug off my responsibilities just because,
living in hell because that's what i chose,
never good enough for anything except,
so what do i do now that the chips have all fallen?
sit here and play my guitar,
pretend that none of this was my fault,
keep on dreaming and pretending,
until this battered mind and body falters,
long for the day when i feed the worms,
dusty decayed body seeps into the ground...
but i just wanted you to know,
it was good to talk to you,
a beacon of light in my ever-growing darkness,
a spark out of nowhere,
an unexpected something from beyond,
but i got nothing else to say,
tell my babies i loved them,
more than any person should or would,
and remind them to live their lives,
in all the ways that daddy never could...