wants

I'm not sure what i really want, maybe that would be a good starting point,
huh? I want silly stuff overall, like sticky rice every day, along with sickly
sweet soda pop, something Thai or lao, just so I can have some small connection to thatforgotten part of myself. I'd like to write like Lester Bangs, or Hunter S. Thompson, or somebody like that, except I want to sound like me, except cooler, I wish the clutter was gone as well, but something about kids, don't think it's going to happen anytime soon, I want to stop wanting, but know deep down that I never will,,,

and i knew that way back when, Writing Down the Bones was given to me in high school by someone who saw my need,but i keep trying to run from it, some stoopid thing about self-worth and all that,but ignoring that part of myself doesn't make it go away, only makes it stronger, and Lester--he's the voice i hear in my head, have heard it since maybe 1980, when my cousin introduced me to "Creem" magazine--made in Detroit,way before I ever read Rolling Stone or Thrasher or Spin--