hospital

I just remembered something I had hoped to forget,
A living nightmare of my own creation,
Also known by some as my life,
A sordid story about despair,
An endless loop of unknown cause,
But that’s just one more thing I’m hiding,
Just really don’t quite feel like dealing.
So I went under and almost made my exit,
Tripped half way over to the other side,
Stumbled back over, guess I changed my mind,
Muffled voices in and out of my hospital room,
White corridors and wheels on the shiny floors,
How are you feeling and other stupid questions,
Given the circumstances, I guess I’m alright.
Dude what the hell happened, I’ll play along,
Not really sure, don’t quite remember,
Head’s still in a fog, voices sound so strange,
Well I guess you had a seizure,
Well I guess my body was just smarter than the brain,
Can barely put two thoughts together,
Same old story keeps running through like a train.
Can’t really seem to focus, will this feeling go away,
How sad for everyone if this is how I end my days,
Endless looping on into infinity,
Single story without end,
Daddy fried his brain one night,
Just for something to do,
Who are those people sitting with you?
Oh, you see them, too,
Thought they were a figment,
But I guess they’re here to watch me,
Make sure I don’t hurt myself,
Not a bad gig for a student,
Just sitting around doing nothing,
Just call the nurse if the patient gets rowdy.
I chatted with this doc and another,
Ended up going to St. Lawrence for a spell,
They told me they had no choice in the matter,
Got picked up by an ambulance and all,
Thought about making a run for it but had no shoes,
So tried sleeping with the other wackos,
Didn’t trust a single one, was ready to fight.
They feed you pretty good,
If you like American food,
Also gave me a nicotine patch,
And got to chill with the other guests,
Felt like I was in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,”
Trying so hard to look, act and sound normal,
Didn’t want to become a permanent resident.
I remember those three days were beautiful,
Outside the sun was shining and looked warm,
Stuck inside in too-cold air conditioning,
Wanted to go skate like nothing else,
Wanted to see my babies and hold them,
So sorry for what I’d done,
So very sick of myself.